


You And I Were Fireworks (That Went Off Too Soon)

by Angel_made_of_scars



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 06:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15164621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: Steve and Bucky both struggle with loud noises. They find comfort in each other.





	You And I Were Fireworks (That Went Off Too Soon)

They had been planning for weeks. The had taken every precaution they could. Put up signs that veterans lived there who didn’t like fireworks. Stockpiled tea and other soothing things that they could consume. Even Bruce and Tony helped.

Tony didn’t have the best time with noise either. So he made a soundproof bedroom with special foam on the walls for when he just wanted to get away. Bruce used that concept on their bedroom.

He had come over, and helped them put as many towels, and t-shirts as he could duct tape against the windows, then directed them to press the same things under the bedroom door, and get under some heavy blankets for the night.

It still unnerved them. Their dark house in the middle of the day felt like the time had already come. Like any second they would hear the booming lights. Steve was in the corner of the couch, with his head in his knees. Bucky was in the corner of the room, wrapped in a blanket and humming. That was the only noise. The apartment had remained dark and quiet since Bruce left.

Steve finally looked up, stretching his shaking fingers. Bucky looked solemn, almost angry. Maybe determined was the word. It was unnerving. It was the Winter Soldiers stare. He was lost in his thoughts.

“Buck?” Steve spoke up. He didn’t respond.

“Buck... B-Bucky.” Steve said quietly, shakily. Bucky finally looked up, and his eyes turned desperate the moment they met his.

“Is it over?” He asked. Steve checked his watch. Four thirty.

“No where near started.” He shivered.

“I-I can’t-” Bucky started, choking up.

He let tears fall, and Steve stood on shaky legs, falling down. It didn’t matter. He crawled to Bucky and hesitated until Bucky looked at him clearly, and then he wrapped his arms around Bucky and curled into his side.

Bucky turned to lean into Steve’s shoulder to cry. It was his first July Fourth since really coming back to himself. He was rightfully terrified. Steve had been through a few, and he didn’t care that it was his honorary birthday. He hated it.

“It’ll be... ok.” Steve breathed. Bucky hummed.

Steve’s panic was silent, sobbing with no sound and shaking. Bucky was loud, humming, crying, and rocking, flapping his hands to release energy. They made quite a pair.

Steve suddenly chuckled. It made Bucky look up almost in wonder. He gave a tiny smile at just the sound and sniffed.

“What’s so funny?”

“It starts in probably... six hours? A-And were sitting on the floor in the dark shaking. Why don’t we go out? Get s-some ice cream that’s on sale and actually pick up some Chinese ourselves for dinner, and bring it back. And just try to relax.” Steve offered. Bucky swallowed and wiped his face.

“T-That sounds good. We can’t let anyone recognize us. They’ll keep us out too late.” Bucky said. Steve nodded.

“Hats and coats it is. Come on.” Steve said, rising to his feet. He pulled Bucky up and hugged him tightly.

“We can do it.”

* * *

The first crack that lit up the sky made Bucky drop his fork. Steve immediately tensed and stood, almost tipping over his chair. Bucky looked up at him through his lashes but didn’t move, like he was waiting for orders. Sometimes he reverted back to his orders, and it always made Steve’s heart seize in his chest.

“C-Come on, we just have to-”

Another crash, and Steve covered his ears. When it was over, he frenzied to get to Bucky, help him up, and get him to the bedroom. He stumbled, but leant on Steve’s arms, as he pulled him.

Steve tried to remember the plan, as lights lit up the sky. He hadn’t even been in the war that long. But while he was out of the war, listening to bombs go off in the distance and hoping Bucky wasn’t out there...

It suddenly left him gasping, and Bucky took over. He had mind enough to drop Steve gently on the bed, and drop to the floor himself. He turned over their dirty clothes hamper and started stuffing clothes under the door frame. Steve watched him do it, covering his ears, but still flinching hard every time Bucky jumped.

Finally, he crawled across the floor like he could barely move, and came up between Steve’s knees. Steve helped him into the bed, and they pulled the heavy blankets back.

Bucky didn’t speak, simply crawling in and curling into a fetal ball. Steve wrapped around him like an octopus, but it didn’t help him. He was starting to breathe hard, thinking of when he had asthma and would hear the bombs and couldn’t breathe.

Bucky hummed, a sure sign he was feeling the same way. But through the panic starting to cloud his brain, Bucky felt Steve shaking and uncurled himself enough to tangle their legs and grab Steve with both arms.

Steve hugged back just as tight, pressing their foreheads together. It was a small comfort. He could open his eyes and see Bucky pressed close, and he knew they were together. It didn’t help they had been together during the war too. It didn’t help him tell the times apart. He just knew they were together.

“Steve?” Bucky whimpered, not even opening his eyes.

“I-I’m here.” Steve whispered, trying to rub his back in a soothing way, but probably failing because his hands shook.

“No more war right?” Bucky said hopefully.

“No more- no. No more.” Steve huffed, trying to keep his breath. Bucky hummed again and somehow slid closer.

“How do we- s-stop it?” Bucky tried. Steve stopped and listened.

“I-I think it’s working.” Steve said.

Bucky peeked his eyes open and listened to. There were still small rumbles, but not nearly as loud. They both let out a breath and calmed substantially.

“I don’t want to see them. Even if- I looked it up on your computer. They’re beautiful but- I don’t want to be near them.” Bucky said.

“We don’t have to. We just-”

A particularly large explosion they both heard made them grab each other tight again. Steve took some deep breaths and Bucky hummed.

“We just stay here. In this room. L-Let me up a second.” Steve said.

Bucky whined but let him go and he rose on shaky legs and stumbled to the radio. He turned it on to the blessed forties radio. He wasn’t sure why they still played such old music in the current year but he was definitely grateful.

Somehow it didn’t send them spiraling into thoughts of the war. Just sweet memories of going to one of their houses as kids and dancing, holding hands and whispering into kisses no one knew about.

Steve climbed back into bed and kissed Buckys forehead. Bucky wasn’t satisfied, moving up to claim Steve’s lips. He gave as much as Bucky wanted to take, opening his mouth and letting him tangle their tongues.

Finally he pulled away, with tears in his eyes, and started to sob. And Steve couldn’t help it. He did too. The stress and tension of being on edge all day had gotten to them both.

His body jerked violently, and Steve held on as tight as he could, even though his added shivers weren’t helping. But he guessed, in some way they were, because Bucky kept using it as a grounding agent, trying to hold still and laying his hands flat on Steve’s back to just feel him.

Steve finally started to gain control as he let the music lull him into a state of sleepiness. So he took control of the situation, starting to shush Bucky, and rub his back through his own sniffling. Bucky started to calm as well, even going so far as to mumble ‘hair’ and relaxing infinitely more when Steve ran fingers through his hair.

“Please don’t leave.” Steve blurted out.

“You don’t either.” Bucky said. Steve kissed his forehead again.

“Never. Goodnight Buck.”

“Night Stevie.”

* * *

As the fog lifted from his mind he recognized soft music, and strong arms around him. He was stirring too, and he waited until Steve took in the dark room as well to finally move. He didn’t want to, but he had to check.

He got up, and tore the tape away, making everything fall from the window. Bright light streamed in, and Bucky breathed a sigh of relief. He crawled back into bed and curled up to Steve.

“How do you feel?” Steve asked, in a sleep rough voice. Bucky smiled at it. He would never get tired of hearing that voice. But his smile faltered as he had to answer the question.

“I’m... weak.”

“You’re not weak-”

“No, I mean... drained. How are you?” Bucky asked. Steve sighed.

“The same. Everything kind of hurts from breathing too hard. But we did it.” Steve smiled. Bucky gave up a smile.

“We did.” Bucky chuckled.

He really was drained, and sore, but he still suddenly laughed, and cupped Steve’s face. He pressed their lips together, and Steve rolled so he was laying almost on top of Bucky, just enjoying having him in his arms.

“We did it.” Bucky whispered happily.

“We did. We should probably call Stephen, or Bruce. See how Tony held up.” Steve said. Bucky nodded, but gripped Steve’s arms.

“Just a few more minutes of this.” Bucky mused, pulling Steves face back down into a kiss. Steve didn’t complain one bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 4th! Stay safe and remember your local veterans!


End file.
